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Two encouraging articles

Seth Godin nails it again. He asks, Who is the world’s worst boss? The answer is “you.”

If you had a manager that talked to you the way you talked to you, you’d quit. If you had a boss that wasted as much as your time as you do, they’d fire her. If an organization developed its employees as poorly as you are developing yourself, it would soon go under.

I’m amazed at how often people choose to fail when they go out on their own or when they end up in one of those rare jobs that encourages one to set an agenda and manage themselves. Faced with the freedom to excel, they falter and hesitate and stall and ultimately punt.

The encouraging part is that we have a choice. Tomorrow I start with a new language teacher, and I face the question: Will I make choices that enable me to succeed? It’s so much easier to lower the bar, take the dignified way out.

I also liked this article about a young writer here in Phnom Penh. It’s a refreshing story; she’s going for it. She needs to lose the “V” sign though.

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Selling prints

Some of my photographs are available as prints at Apsara Gallery, by the Russian Market (Psar Tuol Tom Pong) next to Yej Cafe.

Young Monk at Bayon

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A few photos from Angkor Wat

Bayon Temple Gate

Tree at Ta Prohm Temple

Girl Selling Souvenirs at Takeo Temple, Angkor Wat

You can’t visit Angkor Wat without taking pictures of the temples. The first three above turned out pretty well.

Normally, I’m more interested in taking pictures of people though. We ran into lots of children selling knickknacks to tourists. You have to walk by most of them without a word, because they don’t give up easily. I hate doing that, so a few times we stopped and talked–and bought some postcards.

Monks at Bayon Temple

Monks Taking Photos with Tourists

Usually it’s the tourists who want to take photos with the monks, like the girl in very short pants who stood in the middle of the group above with a huge smile, or the guy who tried to throw his arms around the necks of two monks. But in this case, it was the monks who stepped out of their usual role and took turns posing with Reia and Maika.

Fishy Foot Massage in Siem Reap

After a day at the temples, the present “thing to do” in Siem Reap is to have fishes clean your feet. Judging by the number of restaurants and businesses with fish tanks outside, business is going swimmingly. I won’t tell whose feet these are, but they were very popular with the fish.

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Voluntourism

We help Japanese people come to Cambodia to serve in simple ways and learn life changing lessons. We created a non-profit in Japan and bring small groups and individuals throughout the year.

So I’m challenged by articles like these: The Moral Hazards of Humanitarian Aid and In S. Africa’s Orphanages, Is Doing Good Really Bad?

A Japanese participant shares a meal with a local family during a homestay

I know some people are going to question what we do, and that’s okay. We need to have answers for them. We are constantly rethinking what we do and how to make it genuinely participatory and grounded in long term relationships. It’s not enough to use these words if we don’t live them out.

Now I think coining a term, voluntourism, and making it an automatic pejorative is misguided. Perhaps it comes from the need to blame someone. But as one commenter on the second article says, it’s “not a zero sum game.” There are many programs that help people experience the two thirds world in a life changing way beyond mere site seeing and play. These programs may be respectful, based in relationships, educational, and self-aware. Or they may be voyeuristic, exploitative, and blind to their negative impacts.

Visiting orphanages presents a pointed problem in itself. We have increasing evidence that orphanages are not ideal for children. They are, however, easier to initiate and fund than family and community based options. People who visit orphanages tend to come away with idealized images (and lots and lots of photos), but they tend to miss or ignore the deeper questions. I don’t want to cover all the problems with orphanages right now–I’ll do it another time. Suffice it to say that most of us, if we died, would not want our children to end up in an orphanage but in a loving family–and most “orphans” have one (or two!) living parents not to mention grandparents, uncles and aunts, etc.

The problem is that anything to do with humanitarian work–and especially orphanages–has tended to get a free pass on hard questions and accountability. But now critical books, articles, and studies are mounting up. Here in Cambodia, there will be a campaign starting soon to counter “orphanage tourism.” For years people on the field have known about problems with orphanages, but there’s a growing backlash that can’t be kept in the bag. I just hope people become better at discerning the kinds of partnerships and programs that really make positive differences and better at holding organizations and people accountable, rather than becoming withdrawn, unwilling to donate to anything, and cynical.

As for us, we emphasize long term relationships in our work. We are challenged to work with and alongside Cambodians rather than imposing our activities on people. It’s easy to come in with money and generate results quickly, but (as a friend said), things that happen quickly rarely last. Frankly, it’s much harder to work through relationships (and we’re learning as we go), but we trust the results will be worth it.

I’m very honest about the benefits our Japanese participants receive. I want them to be grateful and truly consider how in their future lives they might give back some of what they’ve received. Most participants in our programs return to Japan with changed perspectives. They see Cambodians as real people with great challenges and potential. They also see their own wealth and poverty in Japan. As one young women said, “In Japan we have so much stuff, but we also have emotional poverty and a poverty of relationships.”

I don’t mean to be defensive. We have a lot to learn. Read the articles above and join me in opening your eyes to the needs and pitfalls of  helping and caring.

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Seeing the story

My life is full of rich inputs and possibilities. I have so much to learn. Some days, passing through the streets of Phnom Penh, everything seems so beautiful and wide open.  I’m happy to be here. I want to dive in and explore the depths, but sometimes I get stuck on the surface.

I’m like the the fish in this story:

“Excuse me,” said an ocean fish. “You are older than I, so can you tell me where to find this thing they call the ocean?”

“The ocean,” said the older fish, “is the thing you are in now.”

“Oh, this? But this is water. What I’m seeking is the ocean,” said the disappointed fish as he swam away to search elsewhere.

Some things in life can’t be “solved” by thinking about them; they must be seen.

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