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Real change comes from freedom

Change that comes quickly, or easily, doesn’t last. Authentic change takes time and a process, but it runs deep and follows through.

Seth Godin writes about three ways to motivate people to achieve: by pushing them relentlessly, by creating competition, and by giving them freedom and opportunity. The first two produce results, but only temporarily. As soon as you stop pushing, or when the competition ends, the motivation fades. The advantages of push and competition are speed and control; the disadvantages are felt down the road. Athletes who won championships don’t know how to motivate themselves apart from competition. I was a pretty good runner in my day, but I was never able to run consistently without a coach pushing me, and I ran for the thrill of racing and beating people. I’d love to be running today, but I still haven’t found it within me.

How will I work for change in society, or a better world? Whatever I want to change, it means people must change. But how?

Here in Cambodia, hundreds, perhaps thousands, of non-government organizations are working for change. There are hundreds of orphanages “saving”children, and many say they intend to raise up a new generation of leaders. How? By pushing kids relentlessly to learn more and faster? By emphasizing grades, scholarships, and and education so that the kids will be better equipped to succeed (i.e., compete) in society? We have been thinking about kids coming out of orphanages and the problems most face, because they so often flounder. They have been institutionalized.

Maybe what they need is not a better formula, but freedom to see opportunities and take chances. The people we want to work with need to change in a way that comes from within.

Give people a platform, not a ceiling. Set expectations, not to manipulate but to encourage. And then get out of the way, helping when asked but not yelling from the back of the bus…

No, most people can’t manage themselves well enough to excel in the way you need them to, certainly not immediately. But those that can (or those that can learn to) are able to produce amazing results, far better than we ever could have bullied them into.

I think Seth has it right. I love his positive spin on both the freedom to succeed and the necessity of allowing some to fail. Not everyone manages themselves well, but if we create systems for those who can’t and force everyone to participate in them, then everyone ends up wings clipped, living small stories, and in boxes.

I think this also epitomizes a key difference between the way God raises up people spiritually versus the way religion raises up people religiously. The message in the Bible, taught by Jesus and his followers, is that we are set free as we come into relationship with God, and we have God’s Spirit of Love and Truth within us. What could provide better guidance or motivation? But religion, seeing the potential for some to falter, or fly too high, has a way of asking everyone to fly low and succeed in smaller ways. It talks of the Spirit but constantly pushes and pits people against each other through comparisons and outright competitions.

Real change comes from freedom, not the push and competition of development or religion.

To become a person who walks in and dispenses freedom, I must give up my habits of pushing relentlessly and creating competitions. First, I must give up my habits of relying on such things myself.

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The puppy has landed

Yesterday we picked up our new puppy, Lady. She’s cute and affectionate. She has her own pink cage (the only color in stock…) and pink water bowl. Last night I pitched the sofa cushion next to her cage and slept there. That seemed better than having her whimper all night where the kids could hear her. We’ll save that for next Saturday night. So far she’s pooping and peeing outside. She’s the runt of her litter. We hope her small size and good temper will last. It’d be great if she keeps her looks,but we’ll accept her regardless. Her grandmother looks a bit like a Shitzu. As the child owner said, “She (the grandmother) married a big dog.” The mother is small, but looks a little squashed.  She continued the family tradition of marrying large. The father, they think, is a dark haired, medium size dog with some shepherd traits. We’ll see how that all works out as she grows up.  Here are some pictures I took yesterday.

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Our neighbors making prahok

Prahok is the soul food of Cambodia. It’s fermented fish (some would say rotted). Eat it straight, add a dab for seasoning, or put some in a bag and let the flavor leach out into whatever you’re cooking. Japanese have fermented soybeans (natto), Koreans have fermented cabbage (kimchi), but Cambodian are the only ones who dare to keep fish for three months outside a refrigerator and then eat it. You gotta love that.

I just read an article about prahok by author Karen Coates on Faster Times.  She laments that some Cambodians who have made it (money) are giving up prahok, as if it’s beneath their rising status. The smell reminds them of worse times. Prahok wreaks, famously so, but that’s no reason to give up a good thing. I can vouch that my neighbors are keeping the faith, and in style. They gather annually to make a year’s supply of prahok, and have a great time. These photos, from earlier this week, will take you through step one: cleaning the fish to prepare it for salting and aging.

It all begins here

Followed by lots of mashing and rinsing

Dress appropriately and enjoy the process

You can’t rinse, or mash, too much

The finished product!

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Sovanna Phum, photo story started

I’m working on a photo story of Sovanna Phum (www.shadow-puppets.org), a venue for performing arts in Phnom Penh. Sovanna Phum is the best place in the city to see classical Cambodian dancing (like Apsara) and other traditional arts (drums, singing, shadow puppets, and circus elements). It’s not far from where I live, so I started dropping by at odd times. It’s been a pleasure gradually inserting myself into the community there.  Here are a few photos from a performance last Friday night, just to give a taste of what they do.

Dancers prepare backstage as the show begins

Waiting to go onstage

A dramatic moment in the story unfolds with acrobatic artistry and a touch of magic

An audience enjoys the show

Audiences have been small for the past year because the venue changed to a new location, but the change wasn’t communicated well. The website was out of date from November 2009 until this month, because nobody knew how to update it. Now you’ll find current information and a map (www.shadow-puppets.org).

A dancer holds candles backstage

Every weekend the show changes. Last Friday (when there pictures were taken) they performed Roussey Dek (Iron Bamboo), an artistic blend of dance, music, shadow puppets, and circus reminiscent of Cirque Du Soleil.

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A beautiful day at the beach

Scroll down for the pictures. Last Christmas friends and kind strangers donated enough money to take the kids and staff from Wat Opot on a special trip to Kirirum, a hilly hideaway two hours outside Phnom Penh. This year our friends in Japan raised just over $400. With that money, plus some more donated by friends of Wat Opot in Cambodia, there was enough to take 49 kids and 14 adults (plus our family) on a day trip to Rabbit Island, off the coast by the town of Kep. Once again the children were so excited. They went to bed all cleaned up and already wearing their beach clothes; then they woke up at 3:30 am. Finally the bus departed at 6 am. The group reached the island about 9 am, and the fun began: playing in the ocean, floating on inner tubes, relaxing on the sand, eating fried chicken, and soaking up the new experience. Many of the kids had never seen the sea before. They wouldn’t hesitate to jump head first into a muddy pond, but several had to overcome fears in order to swim in the vastness and coolness of the sea. We were so fortunate and grateful to join their adventure. It’s been a long time since I saw the ocean for the first time, but I got to experience it again through their eyes. I was also glad to see our girls play with their friends, discovering starfish and crabs together and sharing the moment. Some of the boys were teasing Reia, which she reported happily. After returning from the island, we hung out and ate at a local market. The kids got some spending money; we gave equal amounts to our girls (about 50 cents, which they spent on little bags of spicy dried squid). We ate at sunset. Vandy sketched the scene, and Jani stared out to sea thinking her private thoughts. These kids love life, but they have already lost more than most, starting with parents and homes. As dusk fell, they piled into the bus and departed with smiles and glowing memories, and very tired.

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