A boy living beside the old garbage dump in Phnom Penh
Today a Japanese student raised the question of happiness in a small group of students from five countries: Japan, China, the Philippines, the USA, and Egypt. Here’s how it went. The Japanese student said her happiness was tied to graduating and getting a good job. The Americans (a student and two teachers) talked about contentment and joy. The latter was difficult to explain so the student drew a diagram to illustrate. A student from China also talked about the critical importance of getting the right job. Then the student from the Philippines, reflecting on how she lives at home, described having the equivalent of a dollar in her pocket to buy a nice plate of food when she’s hungry. The Egyptian echoed her sentiment and said he’s happy when he has food and whatever else he needs for today.
I observed how the people from wealthy countries think about happiness as a concept or a future goal, while others in poor countries find happiness in the present moment without thinking deeply about it.
What is happiness to you? Have you ever pretended to be happy, because you thought you should be? When will you be happy?
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That sounds like a really interesting discussion. I think those of us from richer countries could learn a lot from some of your international friends.
It was actually better than I described. It was great to be there.
I love that the American drew a diagram to illustrate joy. Classic. (^_^) I would say the times I am happiest now tend to revolve around either the kids or doing something creative, very hands on and in the moment. I’ve always been a loner so it takes some psyching up to get there, but I do love spending time with people. In the past, I didn’t pretend to be happy even when I should have just sucked it up and looked approachable and it cost me many opportunities to make friends. I have come to believe through experience that there are times that if you pretend, you will in fact become happy by contributing to and allowing yourself to be nourished by the “air” of a roomful of people. I noticed that you didn’t say much about your own state of happiness in this post. I’m looking forward to hearing your answers to the questions you posed.
Ah, yes, I’ve used this one before. Tell the blogger to respond to his or her own questions.
I feel happiest when I feel like I’m in touch with and at peace with the world around me. When I’m happiest, it’s like the whole world tips up and pours me into the presence of God, and I either bask in the glow or begin to pray. Moments like those are rare though. From day to day, I’d say happiness or sadness both revolve around my sense of connection with others and myself, and in those times I feel connected with God (hard to say, really what comes first and maybe there’s no formula). I’m not sure what percentage of the time I’m happy — when I am, it feels like it’s been forever, and vice versa when I’m not.
I’m not that good at pretending, at least I don’t think so. But I am a very steady person on the outside, so people really can’t see when I’m flying or sinking. Maybe that means I’m good at pretending…
Someone once asked me under what circumstances I would be really happy. I started talking about all sorts of good things that I wanted to happen. I lived in the inner city then, so I was describing youth changing their lives and people living in community. Then the person observed that all my criteria were beyond my control, so I might never be happy if these things had to happen. I realized that happiness is a choice, at least to a degree. Right then I decided to act on a dream. Six months later I went to Mexico for 3 months to learn Spanish at an intensive school. You could say my life hasn’t been the same since. I realized then, and I’m reminded as I write, that it’s okay and important to honestly acknowledge my own heart and go with what’s there. I say this as a person who believes God is at work in me, as the Bible says, to will and act according to his good purposes. In other words, I can trust to a fair degree what’s on my heart, even (or especially if) I think it’ll lead to more happiness in my life and for those I love.
Seeing the people I love happy makes me happy.
Andy,
I LOVE your answer. Very articulate on a subject that’s difficult to quantify.
Blessings on you, your day, and your precious family!
Thanks!